Adult Children and Parent's Money

Why does money destroy families?
Inheritances or gifts to children by parents can cause tremendous tension among siblings or between parents and children. For example if a car is purchased for a child or if a parent helps with the down payment on a house and the same treatment is not given to their siblings friction may occur within the family. This often the case in at the death of a parent. It is not so much the money as it is real estate or personal items that create the division between family members.

Much of a person's perception and understanding of money goes back to what their parents taught them. "Whether or not you are successful as a parent will not be determined until your children have raised their children." -Dr. Howard Hendricks

One of the most important things to do for your children is to have a family meeting to discuss your wishes. This is a very important step whether you have millions or very little. This should be done with all of your adult children and possibly their spouses. The meeting should be in a comfortable setting. The parents should express the wealth transfer process at their death and who is to receive what items. Allow each child to express his or her feelings without any interuptions. If there are differences in opinion allow an open discussion. They will hear their parents wishes directly from the mouth of mom and dad rather than an attorney reading it from the will. Everyone may not leave the room completely satisfied but they will definitely not be surprised by their parents decision. This will tremendously reduce the stress and tension in the family.

"Love your children equally but treat them uniquely." - author unknown. The family conference will the one of the best things that a parent can do for their children. It will likely bring the family closer together in the end.

Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing and benefits those who see the sun. Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter, but the advantage of knowledge is this: that wisdom preserves the life of its possessor. (Ecclesiastes 7:11-12 NIV)

Giving Among Christians

Jesus Christ said more about money than about any other single thing because, when it comes to a man’s real nature, money is of first importance. Money is an exact index to a man’s true character. All through Scripture there is an intimate correlation between the development of a man’s character and how he handles his money. - Richard Halverson

I have always said that the strength of a person's faith can be determined by looking at only two things – their checkbook and tax return. It is not the amount but rather how faithful one is with the resources in which God has blessed us.

Here are some facts:
•IRS – Tax returns show that giving is inversely related to income. The more income the less we give.
•Barna – 37% of people who go to church regularly give $0
•Ronsavelle – in the 1990’s, evangelical giving fell from 6.38% to 4.08% of income
•Prudential – only 8% of wills contain giving

•Only 3%-5% of those who donate money to a church tithe (give 10% of their incomes). Among evangelical, 9% tithed in 2002. (Barna)
•If Christian giving increased from 2.5% (the current rate) to 10% of income (a simple tithe), an additional $150 billion would be available for Kingdom Work.
•Most church giving comes from people over age 55.
•Howard Dayton, CEO of Crown Financial Ministries, states that with many pastors, most of their giving comes from members over 65. They estimate that it takes 5 people under age 35 to replace one senior’s giving.

The Ultimate Reason for Giving: Giving breaks the power of money-God wants my heart, not my money. Matthew 6:19-24.

The average Christian continues to take a Modern and Post-modern worldview on their finances and possessions rather than a Biblical Worldview. If one continues to spend as the world does and not give as God commands there will be a constant battle between them and God. They will never reach the full potential for the blessings that God has in store for them.